Life In The Tension

Dear friends & family,

I hope this email finds you all well!  Although I'm still in denial that we're already half way through the month of November, I wanted to send a quick update with the following news...

20% off THAT HOLY NIGHT (A CHRISTMAS EP)
through November 30th
The Christmas EP I recorded last winter is available now for $7.99 (regularly $9.99) at my website or at CDBaby.  Or, for those who 'go green' & prefer digital downloads ;), the album is now available digitally at CDBaby and iTunes.

Christmas cards for sale!
In my free time (read: unemployment) of late, I've re-explored my artsy side and designed three Christmas cards, inspired by the hope, joy, & peace that we celebrate in the upcoming holiday season, which are also for sale on my website.

Thanks for your continued support!  Patrick & I covet your prayers as we continue to trust GOD's provision for my employment situation.  More news to come soon!

with love,
Amy (Gustafson) Oden

So after my last blog post, I have been trying to be braver about executing my artistic whims by using what is available to me and not getting snuffed out because I don't have something.  I got an idea for a Christmas card design and I needed a picture of a map or a world. 

Well, if you just take a picture off the internet, there might be copyright infringement issues and that whole thought process was quickly draining my artistic motivation.

So I was staring at this photograph of earth...wondering how I could make my own.  I can't go out into space with my own camera.  A snapshot of a globe would be far too cheesy.  But...those colors aren't so hard to recreate, I thought, with a box of chalk...and it could be done on black paper.  I have tons of black paper...but I didn't have any chalk.

"Patrick, you don't happen to have any chalk, do you?" I asked.  You never know...we've only been married 9 months, after all.  I haven't inventoried his every possession.

"Wait a minute..." he said and began to dig around in the closet, in his shoebox of art supplies.  With a smile, he produced a set of pastels.  "Will this do?"

This is what I came up with for the central design...I'm still fidgeting with colors and borders and layout...but it's a step in the right direction, yeah?

WorldCard006

"Are you having a good stare?" Patrick asked.

"Yes," I said.  "I'm sorting through the noises in my head, trying to figure out which ones to listen to."

"Nothing better for that than a good stare," he replied.

I had just been sitting there, staring, for several minutes.  Not that I could entirely help it, having injured my knee a couple of nights ago, I was something of a prisoner to my couch.  This most recent trial which has rendered me unable to walk for the moment is one of a growing list, accumulating over the past several weeks, the whole of which was producing a very great cacophony inside my skull. 

After a bout with frustration, cussing, and tears upon first getting up this morning, after finding my knee not seemingly any better and dealing with a phone call from one of those financial companies that takes advantage of the unemployed by proposing sales positions to them, I crab-crawled to the couch, propped myself up, and proceeded to stare.  To stare and to sort.  There is something here, I told myself.  I've just got to find it.

Then a book caught my eye, the book that we had used as our wedding guest book, called Passage by nature artist Andy Goldsworthy.  Patrick handed me the book upon request and I resolved to look through it until I found some calm, some perspective.  Art is good for that.

And the pages began to speak. 

Goldsworthy is not an artist in the traditional sense of the term--that is, he does not use brushes or paints or pencils.  He uses nature.  He goes out into a forest or a field or onto a beach and he creates sculptures out of what he finds there: leaves, rocks, sticks, dirt.  He creates something unnatural, something special, out of the natural elements and then leaves it in the surroundings as an accent. 

I was first introduced to Goldsworthy by Patrick back when we were first getting acquainted.  He recommended Goldsworthy's documentary Rivers and Tides.  I admit when I was first watching it, I was tempted to think this man was a bit loony.  He was making sculptures out of sticks and rocks. What good was that?  What eternal purpose did that serve?  But as I watched, as he creates and talks about what he's doing, I couldn't help but be drawn in. 

His sculptures are really cool. But what's really striking, and what pulled me in again today and left me with the perspective that I sought, was his confidence and his resourcefulness. 

He would just go out and make these things.  He would take what he had and do something fascinatingly different with it.  Then he'd photograph it, first how he made it, but then he'd let nature take its course and he'd show the effects of the wind, the water, the rain, the snow, the seasons.  He learned about the physical properties of these natural mediums, what they could and couldn't do, and he learned this through trial and error, through failure and success.  He made what he could with what he could find, and not something just thrown together, something carefully and skillfully crafted.  His works demonstrate time, energy, thought, calculation.  In some cases, sacrifice and daring, as you realize where he must've had to stand or to reach or in what kind of weather he was doing this construction.  It was art, but it was careful and hard work. And he made it, he invested all that in it, and then he essentially just let it go. Such whimsy, such freedom. 

He lives in a world of business transactions and financial markets and corporate ladders and stock portfolios, where he's made a life for himself in fields and forests adding his quiet, subtle accents.  This world, if he listened to its voices, would no doubt question his choices, his purpose, his sanity even.  And yet, he creates.  He does not explain or justify or defend; he creates, he adds, he experiments, and he delights in the whole process.  And he persists, and doors have opened, and he has created all over the world.

I have felt stuck lately.  Physically and financially.  I have looked around me and said to myself, "I can't do anything with what I have around me.  I don't have anything to do anything with.  I don't have the money to pursue artistic dreams, to create.  And if I did, the artistic markets are oversaturated with product anyway and there is no room for me.  It would be a waste."

But what if, rather than looking around at what I don't have, I looked around at what I do have and built things out of that?  What if I refused to feel limited by my available resources, but chose to let them inspire me into doing even better work?  What if I wasn't afraid to invest my time, my energy, my soul into something that might blow or wash away?  What if I was content with a gentle ripple rather than a big splash, or a little change rather than a huge revolution?

What if I wrote a blog post for the first time in 9 months? :)

There's, at least, a beginning... 

Hello, family & friends!

Today it is raining (perfect for staying home & working on wedding thank-you notes :) ), and it's my first taste of 'home' amidst the 75 degree January I've been enjoying since declaring my love for Patrick before GOD and many of you, and heading south to Pasadena, CA.

WEDDING PHOTOS
If any of you would like to see photos of the blessed event, Angela Cardas (our photographer) did some incredible things with her camera:  CLICK HERE and enter the password amyandpatrick for your viewing pleasure.

WEDDING SLIDESHOW
Patrick has posted the slideshow that we played at the beginning of the ceremony, if any of you would like to see it...or to see it again :)...CLICK HERE

NEW JOB
While Patrick pursues a PhD in Systematic Theology, I'm hot on the trail of gainful employment...which, as of yet, seems less anxious to find me than I am to find it. :)  Thanks to all who've been praying; it is a daily lesson (and/or test :) ) in trusting GOD, and I have to temper my impatience to see what He has for me next.

much love to you all--
Amy Oden

Hi, friends!

THAT HOLY NIGHT ON SALE NOW!
My new Christmas CD will continue to be on sale through Christmas. Visit
http://amy.dualravens.com

RADIO INTERVIEW SATURDAY NIGHT: LISTEN ONLINE
I'm going to be interviewed live on Rockin' Ron's radio station on Saturday, December 20th at 10pm Central Time (that's 8pm for West Coasters!). You can listen through the website at
http://www.bethelks.edu/KBCU/

TOP 20 and POWERPRAISE
My song "Joy to the World" has the honor of being featured in two places this month, the Top 20 Indieheaven Christmas Songs:
http://www.indieheaven.com/top20
AND
the latest edition of PowerPraise Radio:
http://www.indieheaven.com/powerpraiseradio

THE EVE OF CHRISTMAS EVE
Portland area friends are invited to attend Two Rivers Church's Annual Eve of Christmas Eve service on Tuesday, December 23rd, at 7pm. This special service will feature skits & songs by yours truly :).
For details, visit
http://www.tworiverschurch.net/

Merry Christmas to you all!
:) Amy

Hello again, friends!

THAT HOLY NIGHT ON SALE NOW!!
I hope that you enjoyed your Thanksgivings :)!  For those of you now ready to dive head first into the Christmas season and need a soundtrack to go with it, my new Christmas CD is now available for purchase through Indieheaven:  www.indieheaven.com/artists/amygustafson

And for those of you cursing the radio stations for playing Christmas music already, well...it'll be available there all month long :).

VOTE FOR "JOY TO THE WORLD"
I got the happy news this morning that my single "Joy To The World" was selected to be on Indieheaven's Top 20 Chart for the month of December.  You can help me out by rating the song (1 to 5 stars):  www.indieheaven.com/top20

SPREAD THE WORD!!!
If you've already got your copy of the CD (thank you!), or if you've listened online & like what you hear, could you donate a few minutes to my ministry and let others know about this project?  Without a record label backing us, we indie musicians rely heavily on word of mouth, and in my case, that means words from your mouths :)...or emails...or, you know, sandwich boards on your street corners...heh heh heh...

Thanks so much for your continued support!
Grace & peace to you--
Amy

Happy Holidays, friends!!

I'm happy to announce the release of That Holy Night (A Christmas EP)!!!

It's available for $9.99 and can be purchased now through my new website, with a special offer through midnight on November 30) of free shipping on all domestic orders! 

GET YOUR COPY NOW! :)  You can also hear samples of the songs, and read the lyrics & the stories behind them.

If you like what you see and hear, help me out by getting the word out; pass the link on to friends & family that you think might also enjoy it!

Thanks for your continued support!  I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving & a blessed Christmas season to come!

Amy

(Anyone who'd like to receive updates via email, please email me at liveinthetension at yahoo.com)

Hello, friends!

NEW MUSIC
As of yesterday, the new Christmas EP project is completed & in the hands of the printer!  I am thrilled with the results--my producer Jordan Richter did an excellent job!!

Today I posted four of the songs on Indieheaven.com to give everyone a preview of coming attractions.  Go to www.indieheaven.com/artists/amygustafson to hear the new songs; I'd love to hear your feedback as well!

I also added the track "Joy To The World" to the Fan Faves chart, for those of you who have already turned in your election ballots & are itchin' to vote for something else :).

MINDY & AMY ARE AT IT AGAIN...
Mark your calendars!  Much to my delight, Mindy Boyd is coming back to Oregon in a couple weeks and we'll be putting on a laid-back, acoustic, worshipful show together at my church's brand new building...

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16th, 7:00 pm
Two Rivers Church (across from Oak Grove Cinemas)
16083 SE McLoughlin Blvd.
Milwaukie, OR

We'd LOVE to see you there!!

Thanks to all of you for your continued support!  Details on the CD release, digital downloads, and live events coming soon!!

Amy

Four weeks ago I signed the contract for my dress.

Not just any dress, the dress.  My wedding dress.  My once-in-a-lifetime huge white sparkly princess wedding dress.  (I’d post a photo but I have to keep it secret from you-know-who ;). ) 

Through the years, I have been wedding dress shopping with many of my friends; I have watched them try on these uniquely large white gowns; I have witnessed each find the one that eventually and finally made them gush and say, “WOW!  This is it.” 

But until July 2008, it had never been me walking out of the oversized dressing rooms, standing on the raised platforms, twirling in the mirror.  And so—I admit—it was a bit surreal, sort of an out-of-body experience.  I heard myself uttering comments that my friends had uttered, comments that never made so much sense before.

“How do you know?  How are you supposed to choose?”

“It’s a beautiful dress, [insert ‘but…’]”

“Yes, it’s flattering…but all wedding dresses are made to be flattering…”

The comments which now make sense are seemingly nonsensically uttered from women who look more stunningly beautiful than they’ve ever looked in the history of their lives…and yet they’re standing there entirely unconvinced.  “How can this be?” I have wondered for years.  “How can you not see how incredible you look?!”

But now I know why:  These are women who are waiting for the “WOW!”—the dress that, upon the very first glimpse in the mirror, proclaims, “I AM YOUR WEDDING DRESS!”

Perhaps it is a hope bred in young girls read too many fairy tales, I don’t know.  But I do know that I too went into the wedding-dress-shopping experience with the same expectation that one dress would stand out above them all. 

Some dress choices were easy to axe:  bad for my coloring, not the most flattering cut, or way over budget.  But many of the dresses really were very pretty.  They just weren’t…well, “WOW!” 

And so after what must have been—oh, gosh!—thirty “beautiful, but…” dresses, I confess I began to feel discouraged.  As the kind saleslady zipped me up for the thirty-first-or-so time, I thought, “Maybe it’s not going to happen.  Maybe there won’t be one that stands out above the rest.  Maybe I will just have to pick from the ones that I’ve already tried on.”

But then…it happened.

I walked out of the oversized dressing room, caught a glimpse of my reflection, the discouragement instantaneously melting away as I heard myself say, “WOW!”  My shopping companions gasped, the saleslady cheered, other shoppers applauded, the heavens parted, the light of God descended upon me, and angels began singing the Hallelujah chorus.

And I smiled, sighed happily, and thought, “There you are at last!”

Even still, as I sat in the shop again a week later, poised to sign the contract committing me to the dress, I needed some encouragement.  The kind saleslady gave the best pep talk she could muster, and I joked, “Well, it took me 30 years to commit to a man…one week for a dress is sudden in comparison.”

And that was when—as songwriter David Wilcox says—the metaphor jumped me.  For those of us perhaps read too many fairy tales as young girls, it is not just the “WOW!” dress that we are looking out for; it is also the “WOW!” man that we hope and pray to find.

And after 30 (albeit full) years of life, I confess I was beginning to feel a bit discouraged.  “Maybe it’s not going to happen,” I thought. “Maybe other people have been right all this time and my expectations are too high.  Maybe there won’t be one man who stands out above the rest…”

And then my mind would reel through the men I’ve known in the past.  Now some were obviously not at all the one for me, and some were eliminated as possibilities because of their own lack of interest or choice not to pursue, which frankly I could do little about.  But there were plenty that I’d been attracted to, that had many good qualities, that—for some reason or another—I chose not to let become more than a friend.  Perhaps I’d been too harsh, I’d think, perhaps I should’ve given them more of a chance…

But then, amidst all my wondering and potential regret…it happened.  I met him.  The man who—with his wit and wisdom and passion and conviction—made me say, “WOW!”

And he continues to make me say, “WOW!”  The more I get to know him, the more I am utterly amazed at how much he is everything I ever wanted—much of which I didn’t even realize until I saw it in him.  We both marvel at how well-matched we are, at how our life paths and passions and dreams align.  And despite what often seemed like a very long time, we are both so glad that we waited, that we held out for the “WOW!”

There were a couple other dresses I really did honestly like.  I certainly could’ve been a satisfied bride in either one of them.  And I’m sure that other men would’ve made fine husbands.  There are many good, solid, respectable men, and perhaps we would’ve had enough in common to get along for a lifetime.

But as the kind saleslady said, “If you could have your very favorite, why would you ever choose your second favorite?”

And so I signed the contract…and went home smiling all over.